The subplot (or maybe it's the main plot) about Denny trying to get Hap to join his initiative rather than Don's company -- the important thing about it is that this alternate initiative has to represent something important for Denny. It has to represent a true alternative for him personally, a different road than he's taken before. And when he decides not to do it, it's not just him fucking with Hap and moving his money to Don, it's a huge personal defeat and turning point for Denny.
I wrote above:
Another thing I have to do: go back and make it clearer that the apartment represents freedom for Hap. Keep that word in mind. Contrast it to the period when he owned a house with his wife Kara. He rents now but is freer. I need to evoke that whole Henry Miller type feeling of freedom and then create a feeling where it is threatened.
Well, why not: Have a scene where we actually see him preparing to leave. Meeghan is going to leave the apartment a few minutes before him. The mail arrives and he opens a letter from the landlord saying the house has been sold. Meeghan asks what it is and Hap says "Nothing," but then goes on to explain to the reader, as he leaves town, the import of the letter.
I wrote above:
What's Denny doing? Could he be doing some kind of nonprofit thing? I can steal the "wi-fi for all" idea -- it's not that unique an idea. Maybe Denny surprises the others by having an idea that competes with Don's for attention.However, don't forget Denny is a drug addict. He's probably not doing anything. Maybe the wi-fi people have him on their board or something. And ... Denny is half-heartedly trying to recruit Bart, but basically he doesn't give a shit.
Another thing I have to do: go back and make it clearer that the apartment represents freedom for Hap. Keep that word in mind. Contrast it to the period when he owned a house with his wife Kara. He rents now but is freer. I need to evoke that whole Henry Miller type feeling of freedom and then create a feeling where it is threatened.
Well, why not: Have a scene where we actually see him preparing to leave. Meeghan is going to leave the apartment a few minutes before him. The mail arrives and he opens a letter from the landlord saying the house has been sold. Meeghan asks what it is and Hap says "Nothing," but then goes on to explain to the reader, as he leaves town, the import of the letter.