Another thing to remember: oblique dialogue. I'm not actually sure how to go about writing oblique dialogue, since I almost always write standard, natural dialogue, but I'll have to figure it out. Not only will it lend the writing more style, it will help me be more interested in the sound of the language. And the interpersonal relations between the characters might be suited for oblique dialogue because it will show how they can only approach each other indirectly.
I haven't read any Don DeLillo in preparation. Perhaps I should, but I'm already doing enough reading. I'm feeling antsy about the project already. This is a good sign; it means I have some pent-up energy and will make progress the next time I sit down. I've been trying to write just a few notes every day, to keep the project in the front of my mind, and the anxiety shows it is working.
The first chapter was a piece of cake, but it's actually not like the succeeding chapters. I think that once I discover a way to combine the energetic, forward-pushing energy, the Mamet-like aggressive business environment, and the DeLillo-like dialogue, I should be able to polish off a few more chapters before I start to go more slowly as plot threads needing development pile up. On the other hand, I shouldn't pay too much attention to the plot threads; they should be incidental, like the secondary and tertiary plot threads on a TV cop show: no matter what they're about, they have little or nothing to do with the main climax, the shoot-out or near shoot-out at the end of the show. (Come to think of it -- TV episodes of cop shows seldom end in a shootout, fistfight or other violence, while movies about cops almost always do.)
OK, what kind of things do we need to know from Shaun? He should talk about where he's been, perhaps his train trip. But first I think he goes through a spasm of politeness in which he asks Hap about his trip, what he's doing, and so on; this gives Hap an opportunity to talk about both his job and his predicament -- to make the whole thing about losing his apartment clearer.
I wonder if I can start off the chapter by talking about his girlfriend again... what's her name? Meeghan. Hap can say he wasn't thinking about the stripper... Marcie -- but about Meeghan again. We learn a piece of crucial information about her, namely that as far as she's concerned she has to carry on the affair at Hap's, because she lives with a housemate who used to be her lover and it just wouldn't do to do anything under his nose. And besides, she lives in a dump in the lower Haight, she doesn't want to bring Hap there. So it's either at Hap's place or nothing. At this point he picks up Shaun, and in response to Shaun's question makes clear the whole connection between keeping his apartment and keeping Meeghan.
Obviously there has to be some connection to the temptation of business. Don wants Hap to join his evil firm, promises a decent salary and, of course, stock options.
So let's recap.
Q: Why does Shaun resent Seth? What’s their history?
A: Has to have some element of sexual competitiveness, something that Seth came out on top of.
Q: What story could we use here?
A: Possibly the thing about Stacy and her roommate, whose name I totally forget -- the time when they switched beds and fucked each other's dates.
Q: Did this happen in college?
A: Certainly not in a dorm -- would have to be in an apartment house.
Q: What do you want to show through this story?
A: First, Seth’s sexual superiority to Shaun; second, the way Shaun fucks things up by being passive and uncertain and, above all, by dealing with fantasies rather than the reality.
Q: Is there something about the girl who was Seth’s date that brings out Shaun's nascent political romanticism?
A: Yeah, maybe something really dumb -- like the girl is Spanish and Shaun wants to talk to her about the Spanish Civil War.
Q: That’s good, keep that. And what else?
I haven't read any Don DeLillo in preparation. Perhaps I should, but I'm already doing enough reading. I'm feeling antsy about the project already. This is a good sign; it means I have some pent-up energy and will make progress the next time I sit down. I've been trying to write just a few notes every day, to keep the project in the front of my mind, and the anxiety shows it is working.
The first chapter was a piece of cake, but it's actually not like the succeeding chapters. I think that once I discover a way to combine the energetic, forward-pushing energy, the Mamet-like aggressive business environment, and the DeLillo-like dialogue, I should be able to polish off a few more chapters before I start to go more slowly as plot threads needing development pile up. On the other hand, I shouldn't pay too much attention to the plot threads; they should be incidental, like the secondary and tertiary plot threads on a TV cop show: no matter what they're about, they have little or nothing to do with the main climax, the shoot-out or near shoot-out at the end of the show. (Come to think of it -- TV episodes of cop shows seldom end in a shootout, fistfight or other violence, while movies about cops almost always do.)
OK, what kind of things do we need to know from Shaun? He should talk about where he's been, perhaps his train trip. But first I think he goes through a spasm of politeness in which he asks Hap about his trip, what he's doing, and so on; this gives Hap an opportunity to talk about both his job and his predicament -- to make the whole thing about losing his apartment clearer.
I wonder if I can start off the chapter by talking about his girlfriend again... what's her name? Meeghan. Hap can say he wasn't thinking about the stripper... Marcie -- but about Meeghan again. We learn a piece of crucial information about her, namely that as far as she's concerned she has to carry on the affair at Hap's, because she lives with a housemate who used to be her lover and it just wouldn't do to do anything under his nose. And besides, she lives in a dump in the lower Haight, she doesn't want to bring Hap there. So it's either at Hap's place or nothing. At this point he picks up Shaun, and in response to Shaun's question makes clear the whole connection between keeping his apartment and keeping Meeghan.
Obviously there has to be some connection to the temptation of business. Don wants Hap to join his evil firm, promises a decent salary and, of course, stock options.
So let's recap.
- Road.
- Hap on Meeghan and how she has to carry on affair at his place.
- Wenatchee. Stops to pick up Shaun. Shaun bums money from him first thing.
- Shaun in the car, asks Hap what he's been up to.
- Hap mentions his job and then Meeghan, makes clear the connection between losing his apartment and possibly losing her.
- In response, Shaun begins discussing his latest affair, but much of it is through the filter of Hap. In the middle of the story Hap gives background and exposition about Shaun. **Note that this doesn't come sooner. It has to be dropped into the narration of his monologue.**
- Then I suppose it's time to arrive at Chelan. A very little bit about the town, predict that Seth and Bart are there.
- I feel Shaun should say something derogatory about Seth, his old college roommate. But even now we get the tag about Seth -- "good with the ladies."
The whole chapter feels like it's getting really long already so to keep things moving I should go right to the next scene. - After dinner with Seth and Bart -- sitting overlooking the lake. A little exposition here -- why aren't they having the whole gathering down here in a nice hotel rather than go all the way up the lake to Don's cabin? Because Don wants to show off, and also he's paranoid, and so on. So we understand they're going to a remote place, and Bart describes the place a little.
- I feel we should get something about Seth's history with Shaun. There's some resentment here that I should bring out.
Q: Why does Shaun resent Seth? What’s their history?
A: Has to have some element of sexual competitiveness, something that Seth came out on top of.
Q: What story could we use here?
A: Possibly the thing about Stacy and her roommate, whose name I totally forget -- the time when they switched beds and fucked each other's dates.
Q: Did this happen in college?
A: Certainly not in a dorm -- would have to be in an apartment house.
Q: What do you want to show through this story?
A: First, Seth’s sexual superiority to Shaun; second, the way Shaun fucks things up by being passive and uncertain and, above all, by dealing with fantasies rather than the reality.
Q: Is there something about the girl who was Seth’s date that brings out Shaun's nascent political romanticism?
A: Yeah, maybe something really dumb -- like the girl is Spanish and Shaun wants to talk to her about the Spanish Civil War.
Q: That’s good, keep that. And what else?